Several things have been going through my mind lately and i don't know if i should do them. One of them being becoming a dad soon.
In the span from 2013 to 2016, i got married and became an uncle, i got a house, had to move out of the island because of economic status, moved out to USA and lived in my brothers' family house, shipped my car, i had a job in the BULLSeye store, Wife found great job
/one year of marrige/ tried having kids, got an apartment, we settled down for a while, had our first Christmas with the in laws staying over, enjoyed the new year, went through trial and error with pregnancy, I found a new job and quit my old one with great recognition, and Finally found out we got pregnant around the same time. THINGS HAVE CHANGED
As my Deviant Art history would probably classify me, Im an unstable style artist, but as the years went by, i started to realize that style changing was something i went on about not having and it is deeply anime and american cartoon Influenced. Regardless of my try and fail at photo realism, I can say I finally am proud of seeing progress when I look at my old stuff.
One of the things i was always passionate about was about making ideas that start my failed comics. Comics that fail because of lack of interest mixed with need to getaway from it to make different stuff. The main concept readers never learn is that good illustrated comics take a lot of time which is divided into several people to finish a job you will read in 1 hour and leave never buy at Barnes and Noble.
Im only one guy. Im not doing marvel like quality, but i tried my best making colored comics with 3d backgrounds and almost 6 people to nobody paid attention. Attention and audience i used to have at high school when i first drafted "The edge of the cell" in its gigantic 10 portfolios.
But this is not a cry for help or an emo whine.
I noticed that the angrier that i got from my personal problems, bad comments and lack of impression- i worked even harder and harder.
I am human after all. I feel. I am married with the person i dated for 8 years. And I moved on out of my house like "society standards" impose you to do. And I am proud of the shitty artwork that comes out every now and then
I admit that i feel resentful at all those artist that never answer back or keep up with their audience because their artistic popularity and caliber made them so full of themselves that they forgot that the art they dis was once their own.
Why do artist turn cynical?
What differences my spam art posting of my characters, from those who only do furry or pony art to gain fame?
That's where i understood why i did my work. I could see it alive. I did not care about popularity because passion is what drove me. I used to spend 3.50-5.00 every month for a new sketchbook and probably more on plastic sheets. but the most important part was that i was happy to finish 2 pages a day and my friends who read it always wanted more and i loved it!
I loved superheroes and anime and they got me into comics, which i repeatedly practiced until i learned to draw them and derivative something of mine. As a kid, i always collected figurines and when i had my comic, no matter how heavily artistically inspired from games and Anime it was, i always wanted to see my character have a figure!
I loved what i did!
It may have not had the best designs but damn, that would've been cool to have on my desk, no mater where i ended working on. Like "you see that? i did that."
Anyways, If you spared your time and skipped to the end, all i can say is that i feel it. I can feel the pages in my mind and the action coming to life.